Blessed Assurance – Here Be Dragons – Sermon – May 1, 2022

So we’ve established that in our culture, submission is generally thought of as a bad thing. More like being subservient rather than what’s truly meant by submission here. In a society that values an individuals rights above all else, anything that suggests that those rights should be yielded to another’s is considered cultural blasphemy.…to willingly yield your will to another is largely unheard of today.

But it’s undeniable that in the Scripture submission is presented as a good thing, as a truly Christian thing. In fact I think it’s fairly undeniable about how Jesus thought about this.

If we step back into the Easter/Passion week narrative, and specifically that last meal,  we see Jesus and His Disciples sharing together, Jesus gives us an incredible view of how we should be thinking about submission….

John 13:34-35 (NIV)

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Now, I really want you to understand how preposterous it is of Jesus to say this – the Disciples should have got up and left – There’s only 1 Being in their faith construct that gives commands and that’s God – and he’d already done that through Moses and the 10 commandments. Now we have Jesus inserting himself in between them and God, and saying take those 10 commandments and the 600+/- regulations and distill it all down to this…all of u, that claim to follow me, all of you – men, women, slaves, masters – all of you, love one another!

And, so everyone will know that you are my disciples, I want you to think about things like submission differently.

“As I have loved you” Jesus said – I don’t know of a greater act of submission than what Jesus Christ did for me – coming down from Heaven, willfully going to die on a cross for me….I don’t honestly know if I have it in me to love like that – but b/c He did that for me, I want to try and do that for others.

As I said, before we even dip our toe into the waters of Marriage and family and workplaces that Paul deals with in this part of the Ephesian letter, we have to understand this – and Paul knows this too which is why he says in Vs. 21:

Ephesians 5:21

Instructions for Christian Households

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

This is the starting point – we don’t just jump in at vs 22. and talk about all the women submitting to the men – Which the Bible doesn’t say by the way….. It all boils down to this; as Christians we can freely submit to one another as Jesus commands because we’re part of a different society. Following Jesus gives us a different worldview…we see ourselves as part of a Different Kingdom ruled by a Different King. Following Jesus doesn’t consist of a bunch of individualistic narcissists bent on exploiting their own rights and freedoms. No!

 Christian Society is the Ekklesia, the assembly of called-out ones, gathered to fulfil a larger purpose together than we could individually. We think and act differently!

Now – I haven’t addressed the 400lb Gorilla in the room, have I??

Wives submit to your husbands…

verse 22

We’ve all heard the words countless times, “Wives submit to your husbands” maybe some of us have even said it countless times “Wives submit to your husbands” Maybe for some of you watching, this is why you aren’t a Christian or why you have a bad taste in your mouth about following Jesus.

As I I say constantly to you, we have to understand context here, Paul is writing this letter at point in history where a wife is more than a slave but less than an equal. Paul is writing to a culture where a wife is little more than a brood mare, good for bearing heirs and running the home but not much more than that. We, in our context today find this to be somewhat shocking, but to them, in that time – even to the women – this idea of women submitting to men was just how it was, PATRISTA – That’s how Greek, Roman and Jewish Patriarchal society’s worked and while we might think of this as the shocking part of what Paul is saying, the truly shocking part is what he’s about to say later on….

Verse 25:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

How that must have been a shock to the men of that time, this was completely counter cultural. For examples, Jewish Rabbis of that era started the day with the prayer “Blessed are you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a woman.”

By saying this, not only had Paul lifted the equality barrier in theory, but he proved it in practice time and time again.

Consider these facts:

He used women to help spread the gospel,— shock, horror, never you say, then read Philippians 4:3:

And, my true partner, I ask you to help them. These women have worked together with me and with Clement and with the others in spreading the good news. Their names are now written in the book of life.

And in Acts 21:9 Paul stays with Philip the evangelist, one of the first seven deacons of the early church, and his four daughters, and he had four unmarried daughters who prophesied.

The word that is translated prophesied here literally means to hold the prophetic office.

Now, picture the societal uproar in that time and place,  that would be caused by women who thought that they were as good as men. Women who dared presume that God could use them in spreading the gospel.  Can you imagine the discussions at the coffee shop by their spouses, ”Well I’ll tell you what, this Christianity is dangerous stuff. Since my wife started following the teaching of this here Jesus fellow, why she thinks she’s almost as good as me. The other day she looked me right in the eye and she spoke back to me. You know what she told me? She said that this Paul guy said that in Christ there was no male or female. What kind of rubbish are they filling her mind with at these meetings? I think we’d better do something about these nut jobs.”

That’s why you have to see this in the context it was written in. In Ephesians 6:5, Titus 2:9 and 1 Timothy 6:1 Paul tells slaves to be obedient to their masters. Is Paul then condoning slavery as an appropriate institution? I’m sure that slave owners 200 years ago used those very texts to condone their actions. But was Paul actually saying that slavery was correct? No,  he’d already stated that there was no difference between a slave and free man, however to have encouraged slaves to rise up against their masters may very well have been destructive to both them and to the infant Christian church.

So, in certain letters to certain churches, Corinth, Ephesus and Colossi women were told to be submissive to men, to be silent in church and were prohibited from teaching or leadership….because that’s how they already lived their lives. Yet the same author, in the same Bible, writing to different churches – for example the churches in Phillipi and Rome – sends greetings to key people in the church, a good portion of who were women.

Again, we have to understand the context – The first three churches were prominent Greek churches where a woman’s place was to be neither seen nor heard. They had not evolved enough yet to be ready for women to take on the roles that some women in Phillipi and Rome were starting to assume.

Now I think it’s also important to note that in this passage, there are 2 vs. that talk about how wives should behave in a Christian marriage, but there are 9 vs. that speak to the husbands – and once we understand the context of the time, that shouldn’t be surprising to us. What Paul is proposing to the men in that time is that they:

Verse 25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

I can just imagine the reactions, “love her as Christ loved the Church, and what?! Give myself up for her – heck, I wouldn’t give up my donkey for her – that donkey’s worth way more”. That’s the culture of the day then…and unfortunately when we go to look at applying something like this today in our own cultural context, we can have some of these same thoughts….

That’s why Verse 21 in our text is so essential if we are to understand the words Paul is saying as it relates to spouses…

It says “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

That “one another” isn’t gender exclusive…It’s not a guideline just to men or just to women…it’s a guideline for every believer.

Reverence for Christ means…We, both women and men…husbands and wives have made Him Lord…He’s in charge…He is the leader of our lives.

This submission to Christ’s leadership through His Holy Spirit is essential to a healthy relationship with God…whether you are a husband or wife…it’s the starting place.

Yes it says, “wives submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the Church, his body of which He is the Savior…Now as the Church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Remember this is written to the Christ-revering wife in first century Ephesus…encouraging her to consider the husband in the marriage then as head, like the head of a river – which again makes sense with the context of the time b/c in most cases the men were the source of a home, food, money….but often,  too often as time evolved, when sacred men, teaching from sacred books get to this, what tends to come out of their mouths is an acceptance of the  “Alright…I can make her do what I want!” attitude.

Real Submission is a choice and is not coerced.

Gentleman – this wasn’t written to you! vs. 22 wasn’t written to you….this was not meant for your ears!. What Paul is encouraging a women to do here is a choice…it has to be a choice to submit…if you dominate, abuse, or order submission it’s abuse of your own body…Jesus never beat someone into submission…or abused someone into submission… He called followers.

Paul is also asking Husbands to make a very similar and very difficult choice  as well and so Gentleman this is the part we really need to pay attention to!!

(25) The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF up for her.

The word here for love is AGAPE which means sacrificial love. This means that husbands are to SUBMIT their rights and will to their wives too.

Philippians 2:6-8

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross!

Jesus laid aside his rights and gave his life for the church. Husbands likewise, we are to give our lives to our wives. Leadership comes from serving. You may be thinking that the idea of mutual submission will not work. You may think “I will submit to her when she submits to me”. It doesn’t work that way.

In serving one another, we are served.
In loving, we are loved.
In giving, we are given to.

Some years ago we were driving down a very narrow country road in Scotland, I came to an even narrower bridge. In front of the bridge, a sign was posted: “YIELD.” Seeing no oncoming cars, I continued across the bridge and to our destination. On my way back, I came to the same one-lane bridge, now from the other direction. To my surprise, I saw another YIELD sign posted. Curious, I thought, “I’m sure there was one posted on the other side.” When I reached the other side of the bridge I looked back. Sure enough, yield signs had been placed at both ends of the bridge. Drivers from both directions were requested to give right of way. It was a reasonable and frankly a tremendously gracious way of preventing a head-on collision.

I didn’t marry to get my needs met. My wife does not exist to meet my needs. I exist to meet her needs. And incidentally, while I’m doing that, a couple of my needs might get met as well. Surprise, surprise!

In marriage you will get out of it what you put into it.

You will be loved to the extent that you love.

You will be served to the measure that you serve.

You will get as you give.

Here’s a question for you to consider this week:

So what are you willing to give?

Paul says be willing to give everything….in a culture that considers women property, Paul says:

Ephesians 5:26-27

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

To make holy means to sanctify. It is helping a person to grow into the image of Christ. Our responsibilities as a husband, and wives this applies to you to, our responsibility is to sanctify our spouse.

Verse 28:

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

• This means you seek to build one another up.
• Show by example the love of Jesus daily in your marriage.
• Pray together as a couple, and pray constantly for each other.
• Serve Jesus and His Church together as a couple.
• Encourage one another and build each other up.

I tell couples when we do premarital discussions that Marriage is not an end — it is a beginning. It is not a destination, but rather a method of travel….and the model is Jesus and His relationship with the Church…it’s sacrificial – enter into this relationship with the mindset that I owe this person my very best….

Without this understanding, without seeking to understand what Paul is teaching here, then marriage becomes one sided.  Marlee and I will be married 30 years this year, and some of you are well beyond that, so I expect you know what Marlee and I have learned over 30 years. A Marriage needs to be mutually submissive. Have we always got that right – no…. but we understand this:

Verse 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

So here’s our encouragement for you, and it’s gonna sound familiar b/c we’ve talked about it in other discussions

It’s time for us to leave culturally influenced thinking and conduct behind.

It’s time to abandon radical individualism and recognize the significance of the Body as a whole.

It’s time for us to realize that this is about more than me and mine; that it’s about us…. and us applies to Marriages and Families (next week) and Workplaces – Paul has something to say about that too….

This is the life that Jesus showed us and calls us to…and when we are truly reverent for Jesus, when we are awestruck at what He did for us, it changes how we see the world around us….